We had been circling each other's lives for years.
Each time Fate pressing us as close as she could but still
not connecting. Then when our souls were finally ready
I went out one day to apply for a job.
He says in that moment, he felt me before
he saw me and when he finally turned to see me, he knew he had seen
his future. He says he knew in that moment the softness, kindness, and passion
I held within me, and that I would vehemently deny we would ever
work together. He said in those moments as I stood there,
his eyes never left me. He watched
every expression fearing it would be
the last and when I turned and walked out
and he remained, he could only hope
we might see each other again.
I started working there soon after and we became
friends. We discovered we grew up not
far from each other and attended the same
university for undergraduate schooling. I got the feeling
he was interested in me but I rejected the very thought
of us ever being together. Our mutual
colleagues
could not resist twittering on about us
and it cemented my resistance even more.
I moved away for a time and when I eventually moved back to the city,
he asked me out for tea and chess. It was Oct of 2000, two years since
we had met and we stayed in contact for that time.
I called that afternoon to cancel our tea and chess meeting,
but when I heard his voice I changed my mind.
There was something in the way he spoke that was so warm, so inviting - it was hope. That same hope he had held now for more than 2 years.
I kept the appointment for tea and chess and it was there that I fell in love.
The only chess set left at this tea bar was a Simpson's (which has played well into our anniversary gifts) chess set. You know - Queen Marge, King Homer, Bishop Lisa, Maggie the knight, and Bart the pawn - oh and Grampa was the rook,
(This is a later version, but we have both!).
This was what I needed in order to make chess appealing to me - color and characters! I loved it. It was over that board, watching his mind work the pieces that I fell in love. I couldn't explain it. It was like suddenly I saw the man sitting across from me and the beautiful person he had always been. Two years he had waited for the moment to hit me, for me to see the possibility of us, and the love we could share.
I remember some months later marveling at the ease of what we had become to each other and I asked the question... "Who would have ever known this could work?"
He replied, "I knew. I knew the moment I saw you that this would work if I ever got the chance." The conviction in his voice shook me. He said he knew it would take me a long time to see it, but that he was willing to wait.
Some 8 years later he laughs about the other women
he dated... that they were necessary, but not ever strong enough
to build what we have. He sees each of them as hints
and glimpses on the path to me. I asked him again today
about that first moment and he said there is a famous religious
man who says, the one meant for you is written in your
heart. When you see the one, you will know.
Today, we are just beginning our married life together as we celebrate our 3rd Anniversary, married on St Patrick's Day, March 17th 2005 after a 5 year
relationship.
We honeymooned in Ireland - which is one of the prettiest patches of the earth I
will ever see. We visited remarkable out of the way towns and villages - off the beaten path of the tourist traps - and met some of the most interesting people. We stayed in four star hotels, B&B's, manor houses, and the last night was in a castle. We found the town where his ancestors lived, listened to the bird songs as we walked through gardens, and learned to love the hourly rain showers.
I used to look at people celebrating anniversaries and wonder how much of themselves they had lost to the years of sacrifice a marriage/union demands.
I felt pity for them, thinking they could not know all they had given up of themselves as the years beared down on them. It was a cynical outlook but after heartbreak it's one that kept me guarded and safe.
Then one day I really saw him and I began to heal. He restored my trust and faith where once there was none. Now instead of wondering what parts had been stripped away, I wondered what marvelous parts of themselves grew and were nurtured because of the union. Because two together could go so much farther than one traveling alone.
Because of him, my favorite place to be is home.
I dedicate this post to my Mr. and to all of you out there who have found or are still searching for that special love in your life.
